My Thoughts On: When A Friend Cancels Plans


If there’s one thing that a friend can do that reallllly irks me, it’s cancel plans. That being said, there’s definitely ways to go about this occurrence.

  • When is it appropriate to cancel plans on a friend?
    • I’m of the volition that unless there is an emergency or something completely out of either of your control happens, you should never cancel plans. No matter how small you may think your plans are, and no matter how often you see each other, your friend has taken time out of their schedule to see you.
  • What if I just want to reschedule?
    • Ask your friend how they feel about rescheduling. If they’re willing and able to, then go for it! If their schedule is tight and doesn’t allow for rescheduling, suck it up and grace them with your presence.
  • How do I ask if we can reschedule without sounding like I’m blowing them off?
    • Provide an alternative time then and there to meet up. If you say “can we meet up another time?” this may give them the impression that you’re not really gonna end up getting together. Giving them a specific other date and time will show them that you aren’t just trying to brush off your get-together and that you really do want to see them!
  • If a friend cancels plans on me (possibly repeatedly), should I say something?
    • YES! If a friendship is worth it to you, you need to say something to squash the issue or at least bring light to the fact that this is negatively impacting your relationship. Your friend is not only missing out on interactions with you, they are also making you feel not as important as whatever else she’s planned for that time. If they value your friendship as much as you do, they’ll appreciate you saying something. (keep in mind, this does NOT need to be a confrontation but merely an “I miss you and I really hope that our plans won’t keep falling through” conversation)

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