My Thoughts on: Long Distance Friendship


My best friend from college, Anna, lives in NYC and while that’s only a four hour trip from where I live in Boston, this definitely qualifies as being long distance. And after maneuvering the ins an outs of a long distance friendship for almost four years now, I feel like I have  pretty good understanding of what it takes to make it last.

  • How often should you see your friend in person?
    • I try to see Anna every two months or so. Obviously your financial situation and the farther away you are from your significant other friend impacts this but at 4 hours away (I take a bus), we make plans to see each other 6-8 weeks if possible. We alternate who visits who so this amounts to about 3 or so trips to NYC each year for me and about 6 times to see each other each year!
  • What’s the best way to stay in contact?
    • Between the times that we see each other we honestly don’t text anywhere near to everyday. Obviously if something comes up that I want to tell her or ask her about I’ll send a text but the grand majority of our communicating is done via a phone call every 2-3 weeks. If we text all the time we don’t have nearly as much to talk about in depth via a phone call or skype sesh where you can communicate a lot better.
  • How often do you talk?
    • Like I mentioned we usually text a couple times a week (very brief, not conversations) and have an more in depth phone conversation every 2-3 weeks.
  • How do you make plans to see each other in person when both of you are busy?
    • This is something we definitely struggled with at first because our live are super busy and weekends fill up quickly. The system that works for us is setting up our next get-together at the current get-together. This means before I leave NYC or she leaves Boston at the end of the weekend, we both take out our phones and pin down the next weekend we’ll see each other. This eliminates the back and forth all together!

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