Boyfriends come and go but friends are there to stay is a statement that I wholeheartedly believe in. And it’s not just because I’m a sucker for friendships, it’s also because I have seen a plethora of guys revolve in and out of not only my own, but my friend’s lives as well. And while the majority of men that I have seen come and go have been upstanding citizens, I have also witnessed some bad eggs thrown into the mix. Now being the fiercely protective friend I consider myself to be, my immediate reaction is to tell them that their guy is not exactly the bees knees, and while this instinct always comes from a place of good intention, it is not always the best course of action. Through years of friendships sprinkled with these not so fun hardships, I have learned a lot about how to support a friend while not condoning a seemingly toxic relationship. So without further ado, here are a list of things to keep in mind when you find yourself in this situation. I hope it helps some of you!
- Remember that just because your friend may be explaining their frustrations in their relationship to you, they do not necessarily want your advice
- Remember to acknowledge when their boyfriend or girlfriend does something good, it shows that you really do care about their relationship and aren’t just waiting to complain about them. This will also make your opinion matter more in the long run
- Remember a lot of the time your friend will know the relationship is not good and just needs a friend to be there for them
- Remember that you do not have to outwardly support the relationship, but you should not necessarily be vocal about how you don’t support it
- Remember that you do not see everything in their relationship
- Remember that if the relationship is really as bad as you think, be patient, there will be a time when they come to you completely angry or sad. When it gets to this point, it’s safe to say how you really feel (in a supporting their feelings way, not in an “I told you so” way)
I hope this helps some of you out there who are in this situation and feel as frustrated as I have in the past!